I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize