but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You can't motorboat a personality
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
