I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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