This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
