Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
