the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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