everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
