covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
