Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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