What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
