We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
