I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
