I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You ruined the universe
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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