I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
