Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
