No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
