Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
