dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
