hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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