I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
