It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
