just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
