so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
