Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
