Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
