Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
