I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so let's talk penis.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
