ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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