i permit you to call me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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