Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
