If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
