just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
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