the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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