I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
