I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i need some magic done to my vagina
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
