I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
