I think my fart just growled at me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
where does the pee come out of this thing
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
