STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize