how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
