I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
