My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
