I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
