Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
