you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
