you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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