we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
