that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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