the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
