You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm always down for nudity.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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