On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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