Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize