we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
