fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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