Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
