He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
3pm strippers are depressing
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
