he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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