Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
