The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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