hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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