ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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