the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
