somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
