where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
