I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
