I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
