Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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