can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
