Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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