bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
